Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
