I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
