Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
