Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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