all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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