I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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