Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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