I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
