I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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