What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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