Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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