I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
