WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
