i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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