i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
