I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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