i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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