i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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