I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
