I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
