Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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