no, he came in my armpit
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize