Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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