Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.