So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.