Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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