i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
