I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
