it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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