Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's blow job season.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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