Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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