i don't like sucking hair
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
