I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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