More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
