I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
