before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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