But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
