i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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