Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
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She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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