He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They have beer where we have blood.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
