Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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