Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
