i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
