It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
