I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
