Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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