alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
