She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
