the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
another moral hangover. fuck.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Randomize