I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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The convent might be a nice break from real life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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