i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize