i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
