the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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