Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
