I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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