he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Who died my cat blue again?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
