he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
