Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
