Pappa wants mamma naked
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
