i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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