So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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