we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
