I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
