Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
