Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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