Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
