There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
